writer attempting real life in the middle of everybody else's vacation

How delicate is your writer ego?

on January 9, 2013
As unpublished novelists go, I’m sort of a diva, apparently. I’m over here LOLing at my own revision notes because I’ve realized how my rational self tiptoes around my writer self.
Writer Me doesn’t like being told what to do, even when Rational Me knows I need it. So I’ve subconsciously devised a way of making suggestions to myself that won’t offend me when I read them sometime in the future. Don’t ask me to make sense of it. There’s none to be made.
I thought maybe it was a fluke, exclusive to this story, so I opened up some other works-in-progress. And yep, it’s always the same. I start with “Maybe” and end with a question mark.
“Maybe he doesn’t even go to school that day?”
“Maybe over dinner she finally reveals why she doesn’t like being called Mona?”
“Maybe the twins are assholes because their parents have been forcing them to do the follow-up shows and they hate the attention? I mean, maybe they just want to feel like normal kids?”
I’d honestly never realized my writer self was so delicate. And why don’t I react this way to notes from my agent or other readers? My agent certainly isn’t delicate about it. She says things like, ” No way. Awk. Ward. He would NEVER say this.” If I wrote that to myself, I’d pout and eat two shit-tons of Doritos. It happens.
“Maybe she could work on actual revisions now? Instead of blogging and pretending hyper analysis of her analysis of her work is actually work in the name of increased self-awareness?” Yes, that. Onward.
Happy 2013, everybody! May we find this year busting with good health and increased happiness, but mostly ego-bolstering debut novel sales.

13 responses to “How delicate is your writer ego?

  1. Classic. And maybe 2013 will be year it happens?

    P.S. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer here, but I have it on good authority that sales do not automatically result in ego-bolstering. At least, not permanently.

  2. MaryWitzl says:

    Yep: this rings true. And as for what characters would or would not say, I’ve just discovered a whole rat’s nest of these in an old ms I was sure was done and dusted. Maybe it’s a good thing that at least I can see these problems now? Maybe it’s a sign that I’ve made progress? Maybe even after a long and painful revision I’ll see that I’m still layers away from finishing? Sigh…

  3. Maybe so? Isn’t it fun and easy to dance around yourself in this manner?

  4. W.E. Larson says:

    I think my inner critic left my ego dying in an dark alleyway.

  5. Carmella says:

    I find that my writer self needs some serious hand-holding and ego-stroking for that first draft. After that, she’s not so delicate. And if she starts to whine, well, then, I just send her to pout in the corner.

  6. Did I really say “Awk. Ward.”?! I’m so mean! (Because it’s all about me, you know…)

  7. Emily says:

    I think it’s great that you’re gentle on your writer self. I wish I was like you! I’m the exact opposite. Your way sounds much healthier.

  8. Diane Matherly says:

    I like your hyper-analysis self of your analysis. You’re just as sarcastic and clever in that role! If you weren’t, it would be like a split personality thing, would it not? I can’t imagine a mamby pamby, sweet, annnd…. uninteresting Rhonda. If you are wondering whether to say “Thanks…I think” it is o.k….It truly is a positive sincere comment. ROFL

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